I haven’t even opened my eyes yet.
And already I know
There are a hundred and one things
That I have to do
Sometimes my body remains deadweight lies in bed
I think about the things
That won’t get done
Even when I tell myself tomorrow
That’s another lie used to cope
I want to pause the world
Make it stop
Let time wait for me to catch up
Get through at least half the jobs
Then let the world continue
Time is slipping free of you,
List the things out in your head
There’s something missing
Absent from your priorities
But you carry on anyway
The day has ended it’s time to sleep
Oh no wait
You remember the one thing
That should have been the top
You have two options
Stay up for you time
Or forget you and sleep
You’re so tired but there are things you really wanted to do
You should have been first
But you’re not even last.
“It’s going to hurt for a little while, and I’m going to advise you not to lift your arm for twenty four hours”, Maaria said, as she bound Arellia’s arm to her body. “You’ll probably ignore me, but rest, your body is showing massive strains of stress”. Arellia felt as though she was being scolded like when she was a child. Maaria was about to say more when Alisdair entered the room. He looked well, his body recovered, but he didn’t give her any signs that they were about to have a pleasant conversation. “Excuse me”, Maaria bowed, then left giving him a quick nod. What was that?
The two of them were left in silence. Arellia wasn’t sure what she was going to say, nevermind how to begin. She felt his eyes, unmoving, while she sat on the bed. She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes. They stayed in silence for what felt like a really time before Alisdair spoke.
“You should have been the one to stay”, he started. He sounded angry. Arellia wouldn’t blame him if he was. “Why did you leave?”.
“I need to talk to the general, I’ve made a mistake”, she avoid him. Her mind desperate not to think about that day.
“Why are you avoiding me?”, he stepped towards her. His approach made her stiffen.
“I’m not, I just want to talk to Jeremy”, she tried to stifle the wobble fighting for control of her voice. Alasdair twitched into a frown.
“Why did you leave?”, his voice deepened.
“I can’t answer that, find Jeremy, I need to tell them and we need to prepare”, she resisted. His body was over her so quick that the force of her falling back against the bed made her bounce.
“Why did you leave!?”, he snarled. His hands gripped the bed on either side of her. His face inches away from her face. The intensity in his scream made her flinch and a desperate need to escape his gaze consumed the control of her mouth.
“What was I supposed to do!? She was clearly the girl you loved in the forest! You can’t just stop seeing her because of a job!”, she shouted all of her thoughts.
Wake up, realise its late…
Morning has gone afternoon is here
That large chunk of day gone…
Messages and notifications
Pile up and ruin any sense of productivity
List of jobs to do are endless
The cliff edge plummeted into a crevice that was so deep that only shadows lived at the bottom. Arellia wasn’t even sure if there was a bottom. She just saw edge.
On the other side Arellia saw dead land covered with papered tents and fires plastering over it.
The sky was scorched of all light. She checked above her, and there was a hole in the cloud line above her home.
The shield was here. She could almost picture it moving. Shrinking back until Arellia’s time to replenish it.
But she had delayed it, her and her guardian have yet to even try to bear a daughter. What if she had broken the cycle? Was it too late? Just as she was cursing herself she didn’t notice a creature from the other side had seen her.
It poised an arrow bolt, aimed, and fired it. The bolt scored through the precipice and pierced with a thud into her shoulder.
Arellia was knocked into the tree with a loud thud. A gasp escaped her lips and her eyes roamed to find an odd creature. It was shaped like a humanoid but had no features to speak of. Like it’s flesh had stretched thinly over it all. It was readying another arrow. Before it could shoot it she ran back into the cover of the forest. Something swooshed just behind her head which almost made her flinch to the floor. But she kept her legs running. Her dress snagged until large junks started ripping off completely. She lost her shoes a long time ago.
She heard something snap beside her though she didn’t bump into and trees or branches.
The clearing for the wall was in sight. And so was Alasdair who lifted his head to see her when she started to near. He stepped towards her his expression made it perfectly clear he wasn’t happy. Then she burst into the clearing and his face paled.
What he could see that she couldn’t. Was a queen running in a dress that was muddied and torn. And a stick poking out of her right shoulder. She looked as though she had been in a fight without the arrow in her flesh.
“What the fuck… How far out did you go!? Why did you go without someone!?”, his voice seemed concerned and annoyed at the same time. She ran to him ignoring his words. He opened his arms, “You scared me!”. Her body crashed into his, but he was strong enough not to move. His arms wrapped around her. It was then that she relaxed from her panic. When the warmth settled her heart. And the throb in her shoulder told her something was wrong.
One weekend away
Can’t catch up with yourself
Feel constantly behind
No time! No time!
Need to do this
But that hasn’t been done yet
Sit down for a minute
The brain shuts down for an hour
Try and get as much done as possible
Never finish the list
Can’t catch up…
Sleep can’t shake it off
The heavy drain on sets of shoulders
Carry the weight everyday
The one step forward and hundreds backward
Still so much needed to be done
Only so much can be done
Wake up next day
More things pile on